10: You Are the Wind Beneath My Wangs

You guys know that I love inspiring people, right? Can I please ask you what is more inspiring than a gentleman who is dressed as Bette Midler while being violently hoisted by his wedgie into the air while he is ‘heavily encouraged’ to scream-sing “You Are the Wind Beneath My Wings”? You’re right, nothing is more inspiring than that, good job. OMG, and I almost forgot to mention that his ankles and wrists were also being hoisted into the air by ropes which were controlled by yours truly who lay perched above him on the top of my jungle gym. This would make him my first (but not last) personal Bette Midler inspired puppet-man of sorts.

9: Little Linda’s Birfday

For sissies, there is truly no greater reward than the gift of my boyfriend’s fresh cum. Since Little Linda is one of my dearest subbies, I decided to go all out for her birthday this year. I dressed her up in her usual uniform, a pink onesie with the word ‘Daddy’ on the back and set her up, tightly bound in the main room. As I slipped away to the bedroom to harvest from my boyfriend, I noticed Little Linda wiggling about against her bondage. Her full sensory deprivation prevented her from noticing that I was still there. Nothing that a hard paddling couldn’t take care of and as I slipped away the second time, Little Linda was entirely still.

When I got back, I quietly lit the single candle planted in the mini dessert that would serve as Linda’s birthday cake. I walked in front of her, slipping her mask up enough for her to see me as an obnoxious version of the Happy Birthday song played loudly in the background. Linda’s eyes looked so happy to be treated so nicely for a change. As the song came to an end I slowly positioned my face above the candle. I let my mouth full of cum slowly drip out, extinguishing the candle. Linda’s face dropped and she started weeping as she realized what was next. I fed her the cum drizzled birthday dessert and then asked her what she got me for my birthday. 

She looked confused as she choked down the last bites of cake and I asked again, “So what the fuck did you get me for my birthday?” She replied something about my birthday not being for another month and I corrected her. “Today is my birthday and next month”. She looked at me confused for a moment but once I curled my fingers into a familiar fist and started reaching towards her tiny balls, she finally wished me a happy birthday. She didn’t bring me a gift so we settled on a hefty ball beating for her instead. That’s how I started the tradition of stealing my subbie’s birthdays - So nice! I aim to collect every day of the year.

8: The Diaper Head Dancing Baby Guy

I don’t mean to brag, but this wasn’t a one time incident with this guy. Yup. If you haven’t forced a grown man to wear a used diaper on his head while he’s dressed like a girl baby with his weiner flopping out of his pink diaper while he dances awkwardly to a Britney Spears megamix then I must ask you this: Where did you go wrong in your life?

7: The Lumberjack Song

I was raised on British comedies like Monty Python and Fawlty Towers so this next session request was a bucket list item I didn’t even know I needed. This gent explained to me that the first sexual feelings he ever had were experienced while watching Britsh comedies like Monty Python and Benny Hill. Often, the casts of these shows were all men so they would have to dress as the female characters in their sketches. This was partially done out of necessity but mostly because it’s just funny as hell. 

Well, this little subby had his first tingles while seeing these men dressing up as women and it became a lifelong association. The way he explained it, it wasn’t that he was attracted to the men in drag, moreso that he wanted to be them. Not because he found them hot but he envisioned how humiliating that would be if he were in their place and wanted to have that feeling. And so, a very niche, sissy fetish was born.

While ‘The Lumberjack Song’ played in the background on my bluetooth speaker, I watched this man step into one of the most absurd fantasies I’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing. As he flung his lumberjack clothing off with gusto, slowly revealing a pink, frilly lingerie set, his behaviour became more and more feminine. There was crawling on the floor, there was archings of the back and a lot of off-rhythm twerking and you know what it made me realize? Monty Python had it right all along, dressing men up as women for laughs is a classic move and should be included in every project. 

6: Golden Shower Power

One of my golden subbies decided to take his toilet slavery game up a few million notches this year. With weekly visits in 2021 he managed to drink an astounding, cumulative amount of 3 fucking gallons of Bastienne’s freshly filtered water this year! That’s 11 gosh darned litres of my power pee-pee juice! It’s going to be a while before anyone beats that record.

5: WAM Cherry: Popped!

Here’s a series of sessions that inspired their own full blog post, The Bucket List: Wet & Messy. There are a few kinks that I have on my service list despite them being pretty rare and wet & messy fetish was definitely one of them. It sat there and collected internet dust for about a year before I got my first serious inquiry. The gent who showed up was as excited as I was and slimy sparks flew! I got to ooze him with bucket after bucket of homemade, green slime and chucked a few dozen pies in his face as well.

4: Fernando and the Trampling Disco

This session also elicited it’s own blog post, that’s how you know it was good. Listen, did I plan to wear bell bottoms that day? No. Did I know there was a light up disco ball in that dungeon? No. Did I plan on playing Abba that day and literally having the best time of my life? No. Did all of those things happen simultaneously somehow because life is truly beautiful and I have the best job in the world - FUCK YES. 

If you haven’t read it, you should definitely check my blog post The Trampling Renaissance where I detail this session in full. Also, luckily, I happened to capture this spectacular moment and it’s available on my clips store here.

3: Farting Someone Into Friendship

Have you ever farted on someone so good that they became your bud? Yeah, I didn’t know it was possible either. What started as a farter / fartee relationship has now blossomed into a farts over coffee flavoured whiskey / monthly book / philosophy club, of sorts and I’m all about it.

2: Making the Virgin Cum in His Pants

I occasionally get the pleasure of playing with virgins. This particular gentleman was also what I refer to as a ‘sweet muffin’. Sweet muffins are just my favourite people in the world, they’re naturally sweet, kind hearted little gems who I love granting kinky wishes for. Anyhoo, this gent was ...very, visibly excited. I decided to tie him down and strap a dildo to his face and give him a fun little show to start things out. Well, as soon as the dildo found its way all the way inside of me, his eyes mere inches from the action, I noticed a wet spot forming on the outside of his boxers. I looked down at his face, then back to his crotch and asked “Did you just cum?” and he made a sound from beneath me. I moved off him and asked again, to which he sheepishly said, ‘yes’. How cute can you be? No contact at all, just some up close penetration visuals and boom, creamed his sweet, little pants! I love it.

1: Good Times with Great People

Despite all my kinky good times at work, honestly, this past year was rough for me personally. For many of us, the last couple of years have brought about the shifting of life circumstances and the reshuffling of priorities. For me that meant the sad, but necessary, loss of some important relationships. Throughout my grieving process, I found myself feeling alone. It felt as though it wasn’t acceptable for me to struggle or to have negative feelings despite having every reason in the world, it felt like there was no space for me to just be a flawed human.

And this, my friends, is what ripped my little heart wide open in the best of ways.

Through my work, I realized that so many of us are in this situation, to one extent or another. We’re all sorely in need of someone to just listen, see us and accept us for who we are. I decided that if I couldn’t find that for myself, I could at least offer it to others and that’s when my whole world cracked open in the best possible way.

I’ve since spent whole sessions just diving head first into people’s secret history in kink, things that no other person has ever heard. I’ve had the priviledge of alleviating person after person of their sexual shame, being able to reassure them with confidence they are not alone. I’ve prevented one very nervous gentleman from cheating on his partner and I’ve gotten to play kinky-couples-counselor to partners seeking to learn about FemDom. I’ve opened myself up completely, set aside my ego in place of that flawed person I thought needed to be hidden away. I’ve realized that the safe space I’ve created for others is also safe for me too.

Here’s to another great year! Many kinky wishes to you!

xo Bastienne ;)