What is a session with you like?

That depends on things like chemistry and what you’ve requested but they’re generally pretty chill and fun, like hanging out with a kinky friend! I also have this blog post called “My New Booking Process” and this cheat sheet for newbies that might be insightful.

Your clips are really intimidating, is it okay if I can’t take that much pain?

Abso-fuckin-lutely. 99% of my submissives cannot / aren’t interested in taking extreme amounts of pain. My clips are theatrical, edited and extreme so that they’re fun to watch. They’re definitely not an accurate depiction of what a real session looks like so - no worries.

Is it weird that I’m dominant in real life?

Not at all, in fact, I would say the majority of sexually submissive people are dominant in their day-to-day lives. Sexuality is generally a reprieve from the expected, where we get to explore different roles and take on a new persona that we don’t usually inhabit.

For many people that means taking a role that is the opposite of their day-to-day, vanilla one. For example, I’m very amiable and chill in my vanilla life so taking on a dominant, sadistic role in my sex life is extra thrilling for me whereas if I were like that all the time, it may not be as exciting - catch my drift?

What do you expect from me during and leading up to a session?

Leading up to? Follow my arrival instructions closely. I’ll say it again for the people in the back, read and follow my instructions carefully. I don’t like people who don’t pay attention to details. Respect my time and energy by following my instructions carefully.

During the actual session? Remove the ideas about traditional FemDom from your brain before you arrive, be present with me and have fun.

Also, read this blog post about my new, stringent booking process and don’t make any of these common mistakes!

I feel self conscious about my body, should I still book a session?

First of all, everyone does and second of all, please don’t. BDSM is a world where physicality takes a back seat to mental skills like understanding, communication, creativity and genuine passion.

For me personally, I couldn’t care less what people look like or what configuration of genitals they have. I love self aware, fun, intelligent folks who are kinky and open to learn and have new experiences. The people who think I want to see them because they have a six pack get a chuckle from me while I block their vapid ass.

Do you only see men?

Hell no. I love playing with every body!

I want to see you but I’m not into ballbusting - is that okay?

Yes! It’s important to establish hard limits before playing with a new person. Just check out my list of kinks and my hard limits and let me know which kinks we share.

Bastienne, I love your pictures and videos. I want to worship you in person, how can I do that?

Worship is in the eye of the beholder. If your idea of worship involves licking my b-hole or other vanilla activities that are included in my list of HARD LIMITS than I suppose, we’ll just have to agree to disagree while you move the fuck on :) If you’re interested in learning more about the attention that I enjoy, read through my blog and subscribe to my podcast.

I’m really nervous that I won’t live up to your expectations.

You’re awesome. The fact that you’re even considering my enjoyment shows that you’re a thoughtful, self-aware person which is great. I can tell you, honestly, that I have zero expectations physically or performance-wise from you during play. It’s my job to make sure that we both have a good time so you can just relax and enjoy the ride. Here’s my how-to guide on your first session with me and a warm and fuzzy post all about my love for submissives of all kinds.

Do you do outcalls?

Nope, just incalls mostly from the lovely and very professional dungeon in York called Studio Ludus.

Do I need to send a deposit to book?

Yes. No exceptions. My booking requirements are non negotiable.

But, Bastienne, I don’t like sending money online / I share an account with my partner.

Welcome to 2025. Let me introduce you to a thing I like to call “The Internet”. If you don’t learn how to use it, you’ll really be missing out on a lot of great things, including booking a session with me.

Regarding the desire to keep your transactions a secret from your partner, that’s none of my business beyond keeping things discreet on my end. If you can’t tell from this website, I’m a big fan of being open and honest about your kinks with your partner.

You won’t get sympathy from me if you’re trying to sneak around. It’s not my problem and, honestly, it’s bad vibes.

Can I shower at your play space after my session?

Yes, there is a full size, clean bathroom available for guests at each of my locations. There is always fresh, clean towels and scent free body wash available too.

I don’t know if I’m submissive, can I still see you?

Totally! How else are you going to find out? My booking process is very extensive for exactly this reason, I will tailor the scene to your experience level and mindset.

can you go hardcore on me?

I can - but - you likely can’t take it. Just being honest. Most people who ask for this have been watching too many FemDom clips and are blurring fantasy and reality.

If you start fixating on FemDom clip-esque acting, we’re both going to have a bad time. I’m a lighthearted person and I don’t act during my sessions. I laugh and have fun - you should too!

Instead of trying to have a ‘hardcore’ session, just show up, be present and have fun with me. Here’s a lovely rant about it on my podcast titled “Femdom for People Who Hate Femdom”.

Can I be your maid or service sub instead of paying an hourly rate?

No. There are few acts of service that don’t entail a power dynamic therefore I would essentially be working for free. If you truly want to provide a consistent service to me, you can book regular sessions, buy my clips or leave good reviews for me online.

My schedule is really crazy so I can’t schedule a session ahead of time, can I see you today?

Absolutely not. I’m currently booking 1 - 5 weeks in advance and always prioritize regulars if spots become available in the short term. I’m a very organized person and love working with fellow nerds. Would you ask your dentist if you can just swing by this afternoon? Didn’t think so, show some respect and learn to plan ahead.

I submitted a booking form and haven’t heard back yet, what should I do?

Just chill. I’m not attached to my phone so sometimes it takes a day or two for me to respond. Also, at this point in my career, I only accept about 30% of applicants and I simply don’t have time to respond to every person who applies. As stated on the confirmation page of my booking form - if you haven’t heard from me after 72 hours then please move on and find a different Domme.

I’ve sent multiple booking applications and emails and haven’t heard back from you, is there another way to get into contact?

No. Take the damn hint.

I’m picky and also busy prioritizing my personal life and regulars. It’s a whole lot of nunya-business.

In the same way that I do not reach out to my clients and demand that they book with me again, you do not have the right to demand a response or explanation. Check your entitlement and move on.

Can we chat on the phone before my session?

Probably not. I’m a typical millennial who generally avoids phone calls. My booking application and session creation forms are very comprehensive so I can’t imagine there’s much else to talk about.

If you want to hear my voice, go listen to the literal hundreds of hours of me rambling on The Trust & Thrust Podcast or you might catch me taking calls on SextPanther here and there.

Can I bring my own toys?

Um, fuck yeah! Who doesn’t love new toys to play with?

I’m interested in consensual-non-consent, can we play without a safeword?

No. I will push a ‘consensual non-consent’ sub a little further than I usually would but I will still honour safewords even in those scenes. It takes a long time to work up to that level of trust and communication in a relationship and truthfully, a person asking for this type of scene, outside of an already established dynamic, is often a red flag.

Can I send you a script for my session?

No. Stop watching FemDom porn and acclimatize yourself back into the real world. I’m a real, 100% alive, sentient person, capable of formulating my own sentences. I don’t need a script, I’m the real deal, baby. Having said that, you can definitely give me an outline of what you’d like to experience but once we get into “quotation marks filled with things I’m supposed to say territory” that’s when my pussy starts getting drier than the Sahara. Think about it this way: you provide the chapter titles and I’ll fill in the paragraphs. Trust me, my ideas are pretty rad.

I REALLY WANT YOU TO LIKE ME AND I WANT TO DO A GOOD JOB, IS THERE ANYTHING I SHOULD KNOW BEFORE REQUESTING A SCENE?

First of all, if you’re asking this question, that’s a very good sign. Self awareness is my favourite thing and a trait I require in any and all of my relationships. The best thing you can do is read through some of my blog posts and read through this website. You can also listen to my podcast here and you can check out all the other places I exist on the internet here, on my links page to get to know me a bit better.

I want to get to know you more before I book a session.

Awesome! My time, attention and energy is precious and, some would say, a bit of a hot commodity. Therefore, any casual chat outside of scene negotiation is done exclusively through paid messaging on OnlyFans or SextPanther.