Cock and Ball Bondage

Read time: 4 minutes. Audio available with a subscription on Substack.

Like many things in BDSM, rope bondage seems to lie just out of reach, on the other side of the stern gaze of it’s diligent gatekeepers. I’ve heard of militant bondage classes, hosted by humourless ‘Lords of the Scene’ filled to the brim with male dominants and their submissive, female rope bunnies. On the flip side, I’ve also been fortunate enough to know a few of the rope-loving outliers, the people proficient in rope bondage who are actual, down-to-earth human types who warn of the risks but also welcome experimentation in equal measures.

For Buddha’s sake, let’s all strive to be the latter type of person.

I get it, I get it. Rope play comes with some serious, inherent risks - permanent nerve damage being one of them! It’s nothing to take lightly but also - let’s be real. That level of risk is avoidable, particularly when you’re at a beginner level and if you start with common sense and some trusty ol’ BDSM communication skills. Most of the risk is associated with suspension bondage which is only safely done after years of experience. Truthfully, most of us don’t strive for that goal and that’s okay. Us rope-bondage-ground-dwellers are just as happy and pervy chillin’ on the floor or a cozy bed.

For years, I’ve opted to use cuffs in my scenes because I found rope bondage to be too time consuming. I would feel uneasy ‘wasting’ 20 minutes of prep time right off the top. I definitely don’t want to squander precious session time or be known as ‘that’ provider. It was always so strange, even people who specifically asked for rope bondage seemed to become bored during the process and like any semi-observational business person, I just intuitively moved away from it. Here’s an awesome article about this exact experience from the perspective of a rope bottom on submissiveguide.com.

Well, like so many things in BDSM, I’ve inevitably circled back around to rope and I come bearing bound balls and tightly tied up cocks - everyone’s favourite! 

Here’s the thing; the language of BDSM is obfuscated heavily by people’s inability to discern between fantasy and reality. No complaints here - just being honest. As a facilitator of both fantasy and reality, I view it as my job to discern between the two, to translate that language for people. I’ve learned that when most people ask for ‘rope bondage’ they actually mean ‘tight bondage’. Good to know. Also, often when subbies see or feel rope, they go BOING! So where’s the happy medium here? Where’s the common ground between rope boners and efficiency? Well if you know me at all, you’ll know exactly where I ended up finding it… 

Dicks & Balls.

Mmm hmm… Those trusty good-time-havers all hanging out, just begging for tomfuckery. I mean who doesn’t love the graze of a diligent rope-wielding hand across the head of their silly cock? What about the tightening, snake-like grip of rope around a pair of sensitive nuts? No offense to your arms and legs and other bits but, c’mon, they’re so boring compared to your hotdog and heuvos, all full of nerves and pride and such. As a Certified Cock Consultant and Testicle Top Dog, I feel much more comfortable tying up that region than I do the other (boring) extremities. 

The time for cock and ball bondage is nigh so let me tell you all about the obstacles and discoveries I’ve found along the way and how this all has become my current, BDSM flame.

The first obstacle I overcame was all the gatekeeping. Yes, there are revered riggers in every community (almost exclusively male the last time I checked) who hang their hat on keeping that sweet, sweet gate locked. You know what’s great though? Life is awesome and if you’re patient and observant enough you can identify and maneuver around such illusions. We’re all free to explore what we want and gain the information that we need, we just simply need to give ourselves permission. Unlock that damn gate yourself with humility and experience. 

Side tangent alert: If you frequent my blog or podcast-y newsletter thingy you know that I’m not a fan of extraneous ego puffing. I appreciate a nice, solid grip on reality for you and for me. Beyond just being appealing in general, humility will keep you safe while practicing BDSM. Let’s be the change we want to see and I, personally, want to see your cock and balls safely tied into a pretty, little pretzel! All while having some genuine, down-to-earth, dirty, silly fun.

Okay, back to the point: The second obstacle I overcame was the whole “OMG take foreverrrrrr” time consuming aspect of rope bondage. Not wanting to misuse session time, I couldn’t find a feasible use for it for many years until my recent AHA! moment. Many practitioners know that there are certain sessions that cannot realistically be done for long periods of time. Anything that wears consistently on one body part or is in some other way intense. Wedgies, ballbusting and (surprisingly) foot worship are a few examples. Providers often sneakily work in breaks for the bottom and disguise them as dirty talk, humiliation or a change of position. 

Enter scene: CBT Bondage. Yup, the perfect remedy for a boring testicle break is some low-key, chill bondage time! Two birds, one stone. 

Obstacle number three: Does a bored person mean bored boners? Surprise! This is reverse psychology for wieners! I’ve found that ignoring a wiener will often have the counterintuitive effect of inflating it like a party balloon on your birthday. Cocks are naturally shy creatures, they need reassurance and distraction to come out and play. By tying the pecker up and out of the way, for something like ballbusting for example, the weeny will often feel so comfy and chill, it’ll start swelling up.

This leads to one of my first discoveries: Boner predicament bondage provides a chastity like bind. This is a lovely two way street. If you’re at full mast, I use it as an anchor point, if not, I make a snuggly sleeping bag for it to be confined tightly within while all the fun happens below. Much like a toddler, a dick will instinctively want what it can’t have and start throwing a big, puffy tantrum about it. Watching the skin inflate and poke around the ropes, provides great entertainment for me while I work.

Another related discovery: The cat’s cock cradle. If you have one of my fancy, dancy, heavy duty, handmade ball crushers, you can play your own pervy version of this game. It’s functional and fun and requires just enough concentration that you actually feel proud when you figure out a useful tie. The main functional focus is to isolate the balls, the rest is fancy, symmetrical art!

So that’s pretty much it! I’ve been having tons of fun with cock and ball bondage lately and I hope you do too. As with anything, go slow and careful and listen to your body throughout. I hope this post helps alleviate some of the unnecessary insecurity that comes with trying anything new and inspires you to unlock the imaginary gates of experimentation. Have fun and enjoy some of my most recent weavings.